Inner Demons
by Darla's-Fallen-Angel
Summary: Paige struggles to over come depression and fit in with her sisters who are less than accepting of her after she moves into the manor. ~Chapter 4 is up~ Please R&R!
1. The Fight

**Inner Demons**

A/N: Well, here it is, a Paige centered fic,I bet you thought you'd never see the day where _I_ wrote one of these (at least I know that's what CharmingTess and wAnNaBpIpEr are thinking) but, hey, maybe its temporary insanity, or maybe I'm stating to –gasp- not completely hate her. Either way, here it is, my first Paige-centric story:

            I ran up the stairs, wiping tears out of my eyes. "Paige, how could you be so stupid?" Piper snaps looking over the railing at me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I- but she cuts me off again. "Well you blew up half my kitchen with that potion of yours. What were you trying to make anyway?" Piper asks, crossing her arms and glaring at me. Half her kitchen is a little bit of an exaggeration, I only blew up the stove…and some of the counter. "I was just trying to make a potion that would replicate your exploding power, you know, in case you ever lost it, I was just trying to plan ahead" I tell her, hoping she'll calm down, it's not like I was _trying_ to blow up the kitchen, I just added the ingredients in the wrong order. "Huh, well the next time you decide to 'plan ahead' tell me so I can supervise you" Piper snaps. Supervise me? I'm not a little kid. 

            "Well, sorry for trying to help" I snap back and stomp the rest of the way upstairs, walking into my room and slamming the door shut. Why does Piper have to be so mean? Phoebe would have understood that it was just a mistake. But Phoebe's at work, and I'm stuck here with Piper who hates me. A few tears slide down my cheek as I hug my pillow, _Piper's always going to hate me, she didn't even want me to move in in the first place_, I think, starting to cry. 

            I'm trying to fit in, but it's just so hard, I've been an only child my whole life and now I find out I have sisters and that I have to live with them. And most of the time Piper doesn't even make an effort to talk to me, unless she's yelling at me for screwing something up. And Phoebe's not much better, but at least she's trying to get to know me.

            But I guess I deserve it, I am a screw up, no wonder they hate me, I was just shoved upon them the day after Prue died. They try to act like they want me around and that they love me, but they don't, I can see it in their eyes, it's all just so fake, I bet they wouldn't have even talked to me at all if we weren't bound by being witches. I can hear them talk about me after they think I've gone to bed, they always say how I could be trying harder, or that they didn't make so many mistakes when they first became witches, but they had each other to rely on…I have no one.

            I bury my head into my pillow and cry harder, I've never really had anyone, so it should be easier for me to accept, but…I just thought that once I had sisters things would change, I was so stupid, getting my hopes up that this would be any different than the foster homes I've been in, the people are nice enough to your face, but they hate you behind your back, and they give each other these…_looks. _These 'why did we get stuck with _her_?' looks. It wasn't so bad when I got them from my foster parents, but when I see my own sisters look at me that way, it breaks my heart. I've been searching for acceptance my whole life, that's nothing new, so why did I expect to find it here? I hate myself just as much as they do.

A/N: Well? Did it suck? I sort of think it did, but I still want to continue…for some reason. So, tell me, should I write more chapters or not? Please review.


	2. A Friend In Leo

**Inner Demons**

**Chapter two "A friend In Leo"**

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And I must say, while I am still hard core anti-Paige, I like her a lot better in fan fics than in the show, so that is why I'm writing about her, because fan fic Paige is kewl, well as kewl as Paige could be (Paige fans don't kill me for my comments, you must understand that Prue is my all time fave so I still have issues with Paigey- wagey taking her place. Heh. Me and my issues.) Okay, I'm not psycho, ignore that last comment and I'll get on with the story :-)

            I cried for a little while more, my sobs gradually subsiding until I just lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what I should do. Part of me thinks that I should go downstairs and apologize to Piper again and offer to help clean up the kitchen, but knowing Piper, she's already done that and will just yell at me again for not going down to help sooner. And part of me just wants to stay up here forever, and be alone. It's just easier to be alone with no one to fight with me or judging me, I really haven't had that much time to just be alone with my thoughts since moving into the manor. It's such a big change, going from an apartment where I lived all alone, to a house full of people and demon activity. Come to think of it, I guess that's the biggest change, all the demons, but those I can handle, it's my very mortal sisters I have the problems with.

            I heard Phoebe come home a few minutes ago, I wonder if Piper is telling her what happened between us. I wonder if they know I came up here to cry, or if they even care. Probably not, if they did, they'd be up here with me, or at least have come to see if I was okay, but no, they're down stairs and I'm up here, the wall between us grows even more. I wonder if Phoebe ever felt this way, I know she and Prue didn't get along, but they still grew up together, I know that's what's missing, that connection, their sisters, I'm just a stranger. I don't have any memories to share with them; the first time we met it was at Prue's funeral. God, no wonder they hate me if that's what they associate me with, I just remind them of her death. But it's not my fault.

            I hear a soft knock on my door and hope it's one of my sisters, but it's only Leo. "Hey Paige" he says walking in and sitting on my bed. I sit up and wipe my eyes wondering if Piper sent him up here to yell at me some more. "Hi" I reply, not looking him in the eyes, waiting for him to start in on me with the lecture about my powers, but he's silent. "Did Piper send you up here?" I can't help but ask. "No, she told me what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay" he answers. I'm not sure if I believe it, but then again, why would Leo lie to me? "What, so then she could not feel too guilty about yelling at me again later?" I ask sarcastically, I'm near tears again and I hate it, I know I'm taking my anger out on Leo and that's not fair, but I can't help it, that's what I always do when people try to talk to me, and how can I talk to him anyway? Piper's his wife; of course he'll defend everything she does, so it's a lost cause.

            "Why can't you just accept that I was worried about you and wanted to talk?" Leo asks sounding a little hurt. "Paige, don't push me away, tell me what's wrong" he sounds so genuine, like he really cares; I want to have someone to talk to so bad. All of a sudden it's just too much and I burst into tears again. Leo wraps his arms around me and hugs me while I cry. He doesn't say anything, he just waits until I'm done so I can talk and that's all I want him to do, just be there. 

            "What wrong?" he asked again once I stopped crying, but I still hesitate "It involves Piper" I warn him. Leo chuckles softly "So? You can still tell me, I'm got going to get mad if you say negative things about her. I've lived with her long enough to know she can be…unpleasant some times" he jokes. I smile a little. "I just get so tired of her bossing me around and getting so mad when I make a mistake. How am I ever going to learn anything if I never mess up? Piper and Phoebe have learned from experience but they won't give me that chance" I complain. "I know" Leo says, surprising me by agreeing "They do need to let you learn on your own, but Piper doesn't mean to be that way toward you, she just wants to help" "You mean control?" I ask, only half joking. Leo smiles "Yeah, that too, but I'll talk to her, and then you too need to come to a compromise" I nod, knowing he's right. "Okay" I agree. "And Leo?" "Yeah?" he replies, standing up again, "Thanks" I tell him honestly "Thanks for just listening" He smiles "No problem, that's what friends are for" he says walking out.

            I smile to myself, repeating his words in my head 'that's what friends are for' it makes me feel better to know that no matter what happens with my sisters, I still have a friend in Leo.

A/N: The review button is calling you, push it and tell me what you think. Please? 


	3. More Than Friends

**Inner Demons**

**Chapter 3 "More Than Friends"**

A/N: Thanks bunches to everyone who reviewed! This story is turning out to be completely different than I planned it out to be, but I think I like it this way better though and after reading this chapter, I hope you do too. Here we go:

            After Leo talked to Piper, she started treating me a lot better, for at least a few days, but it's okay, I'm getting used to her now. I've lived with her and Phoebe for almost six months now, I still can't believe it's been that long, but I guess time flies when you're fighting demons, or being chewed out by your sisters every five minutes. Well, one sister, Phoebe is too busy to chew me out, she's almost too busy to even help Piper and me with the demons now, all she ever does is work and hang out with Cole at his penthouse. It's not like I have anything against Cole, really I don't, but I'd just like to see my sister once in a while, but I can't talk to her about anything even remotely Cole related or she'll get mad because she thinks I hate him. She doesn't even really have time for Piper anymore. It's the only thing Piper and I agree on; that Phoebe needs to come home more and spend time with us, without Cole.

            But just because we agree on that doesn't mean we're really becoming sisters, or even friends. Leo is my only friend around here now. No matter how busy he is with Piper or whitelighter stuff, he always has time to talk to me and make sure I'm okay. I don't know what I would do without him. And I listen to him too, when ever he needs to talk. Piper and him have been fighting so much lately, he says he doesn't feel like he can talk to her anymore, so he comes to me instead. It means a lot to me that Leo trusts me enough to tell me all of his problems. Piper's almost as mean to him as she is to me, all day long she's telling him that he's never around and that she's just as important as any of his other charges. Doesn't she realize that people's lives depend on him? Now that he's training me to be a whitelighter too I really understand what an important job it is, and how busy whitelighters really are. 

            Ugh. I can hear Piper and Leo yelling at each other again. I just wish they'd shut up already, I'm so sick of them fighting. I hear Piper scream "fine!" and slam her door, a few minutes later Leo's knocking on mine. "Hey Paige" he says walking in and sitting down on my bed, he looks so tired. "Another fight?" I ask although I already know the answer. "Yeah, when don't Piper and I fight anymore?" Leo asks, "It seems like lately it's all we do." "Want to talk about it?" I ask. Leo shrugs, "There's not much to say, I leave to take care of my other charges and she gets mad, so we fight. Just like yesterday, and the day before" Leo answers "I just wish she could understand my work important to me" "I know it is" I tell him, "And Piper will come around to it in time, she never stays mad for long" Leo nods and looks over at me "Yeah, I guess you're right, Paige." He says and looks into my eyes "Thanks, you always make me feel better"

            His chocolate brown eyes look deeply into mine; searching, and suddenly I feel my breath catch in my throat. The way he's looking at me, like he's seeing me for the first time. Those eyes, his smile. "Your welcome, anytime" I reply suddenly self-conscious of his eyes on me, "I just feel like you get me" Leo says, never taking his eyes off mine "In a way that Piper hasn't in a while" "I…" I trail off, "I feel the same way with you" I tell him honestly, and he leans closer to me, and whispers in my ear "I like you, Paige" 

            I pull back and tilt his head closer to mine "I like you too" I tell him breathlessly before our lips meet in a soft, gentle kiss. I close my eyes and lean into him realizing I've wanted this for a while now; Leo's arms encircle me and pull me closer to him. It feels so nice to be in his arms, so safe and I feel happier then I have in a long, long time. 

            We pull away when we hear Piper walk down the hall "Leo? Where did you go? We still need to talk" Leo stands up quickly and a look of horror crosses his face as he realizes fully what he's just done. I immediately feel guilty; Leo's marriage is wrecked because of me. I am the worst sister in the world, I should have never let Leo kiss me, but at the same time I'm happy I did. Leo starts to orb out, then comes back in, and kisses me quickly "I have to go" he whispers, kissing me again and orbing out. A moment later I hear him in the hallway talking to Piper, "I'm sorry, the elders called" he tells her, and I smile. Not because he lied to her, I know that must be hard for him, but because I know he didn't think our kiss was a mistake and he's not going to tell Piper about it. I close my eyes and can still feel the soft caress of his lips against mine; I can't believe I'm in love with Piper's husband!

A/N: Please review. I hope you liked it, because Paige/Leo is one of my fave couples that never actually happened on the show.


	4. Guilt

**Inner Demons**

**Chapter 4 "Guilt"**

            "Leo…Leo, stop" I said, sitting up, he stopped kissing me and sat up too. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately. "Gee, I don't know, I'm making out with my sisters husband?" I snapped. I don't know why I'm taking it out on him, it's me who I'm mad at, but sometimes it just seems like it's too much to handle. Leo and I have been sneaking around together for two weeks now, but so far all we've done is kiss, and now we were about to go… farther and I just freaked out.

            "Why are you mad at me?" Leo asks sitting up and pulling me into his arms. I sigh, "I'm not, it's just, I don't know. We can't keep doing this." "I know, I hate lying to Piper so much, but it would kill her if she knew, she's already having such a hard time, after Prue's death and all" Leo answers. "I then why are you in here with me? Go fix your marriage" I tell him, I know it's the right thing to say, but I hope with every fiber of my being that he'll choose to stay with me instead. "I should" Leo agrees, but he makes no move to get up. "Paige, I don't know what to say, I think I'm falling in love with you" Leo admits, kissing my neck. I sit up and kiss him too, "No you're not Leo" I tell him, it breaks my heart to say it, because I do love him,  but I don't really know what he feels from me, but it's not love. "You love Piper" I tell him "You two are soul mates, you always have been." 

            "That's just it" Leo says sounding frustrated, "It's always been Piper-and-Leo, every past life, and even when we've been to the future. I'm tired of just being Piper-and-Leo, everyone thinks we have this picture perfect relationship, we don't. Everything's just so predictable with Piper, so boring. Paige, when I'm with you I feel…alive. I feel lucky to have you, be here with you and I never want it to end. I haven't felt that with Piper in a long time, if I ever felt it at all. I know I love Piper, I do, but it's almost as a friend, not as a wife, there's just no…" Leo trials off, not knowing what to say. "No passion?" I ask. Leo nods, "Exactly, there's not really any emotion at all, it's just routine. Neither of us are really trying any more." "I know Leo, but its still not fair to her, it's not fair to any of us to have us be sneaking around like this. We need to tell her what we've been doing and then you could get a divorce and we could be together" I tell him. It sounds so much easier when it's just words.

            "I would if it was that easy, but its not and you know it. It's not like I could just whisk you way and have us live together, what would happen to the power of three? There are lives at stake, we can't be selfish about this" Leo says sounding more like a whitelighter and less my lover. "I know Leo" I say cracking a smile "Don't go all whitelighter on me now with the speech" He laughs and kisses me and we settle into a comfortable silence, each lost in our own thoughts. "See, this is what I love" Leo says after a moment "Just laying here with you, not having to think about demons or warlocks, or…Piper" I nod. "But I really don't want to divorce her though, it would hurt her too much, I just…don't know what I want" Leo looks at the clock next to my bed, "Damn, I'd better go, Piper will be expecting me home from work pretty soon" "Okay" I reply, kissing him again as he gets out of my bed and puts his shirt back on, "Bye Paige, love you" He says, orbing out.

            I sigh, laying back in bed; I still can't help but feel like this is all my fault. I don't know how I could do this to Piper, she's never been very nice to me, but she still doesn't deserve this, but I can't help who I love, and if Leo loves me too, if it's not just because he and Piper are having a hard time, but if he really does love me, then don't we deserve to be happy too? 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I wake up the next morning to the sound of Piper crying. I jump out of bed and rush downstairs to her, thinking Leo told her what we've been doing. Instead Leo's nowhere to be found. When I walk into the kitchen, I see Piper sitting at the table, sobbing as Phoebe flits around trying to comfort her. "How could he do this to me Pheebs?" Piper asks through her tears, "How could he leave me?" "Oh, honey" Phoebe says hugging her "He didn't say he was leaving you, he was just needs time to think" 

"Leo's gone?" I ask, surprised, walking over to Piper and hugging her too. "Yeah, he left Piper a letter, he was gone when she woke up" Phoebe explained handing me a piece of notebook paper with Leo's messy handwriting scrawled across it. It said: Piper- I know we've been growing apart for sometime now and I'm sorry. It's not fair what I've done to you or what I'm doing now, but I need time to think, I just need to get away for a while and figure out what I want. I've talked to the elders and they said Paige could be your whitelighter until I get back. I love you, -Leo.  

I hand to letter back to Phoebe shakily, I can't believe he just left. "It doesn't make sense" Piper says shaking her head "What does he mean it's not fair what he's done to me?" My heat sinks, I know what he means by that, but how can I tell her now? "I don't know" I lie, my voice cracking as I wipe a few tears out of my eyes. How could Leo just leave me, he didn't even say good bye, at least Piper got a letter. "It's okay Paige" Phoebe says, hugging me too, but the second she touches me, she stiffens like she's getting a premonition. 

A few seconds later she opens her eyes and glares at me, "You little slut" she hisses. "What?" I asked shocked. "How could you do this to Piper?" Phoebe yells "What the hell's the matter with you Paige?" Oh no, I could just guess what she saw in that premonition, I really wish she couldn't see the past.

"What is it Phoebe?" Piper asks, surprised by Phoebe's sudden anger, "What did you see?" Phoebe just shakes her head, "You don't want to know, Piper" she tells her sadly. "Tell me" Piper insists. Phoebe hesitates, "Paige was with Leo…they were kissing" "What?" Piper gasps, new tears filling her eyes as she turns to me, "How could you do this to me Paige, you're my sister"

A/N: Don't forget to review. :-D


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